Thursday, March 19, 2015

BA Third (Fourth) Year

In fourth year, but changed my major in order to increase GPA, which has put me a year behind in getting the bachelors degree. The switch was worth it and increases my chances of getting accepted into a Law School. Took my first practice LSAT test without any studying just to get a baseline and got 28th percentile, need to get 70th percentile or better for the actual test. Have heard stories about how keeners have struggled in Law School and I'm not a 4.0 student, worried that I have struggled to get this far and when I finally reach my goal, I will not make it passed the first year.
Single mother with two kids left in my household, it has been an interesting battle trying to do everything on my own, not much different, but enough to be felt when you lack a support system and are surrounded by negative people who want to see you fail, misery loves company. My own fault realistically, a person naturally gravitates towards people that are familiar and that is what I'm accustomed to, doesn't mean that it what I want or need in my life, and it takes a lot of effort to move outside of the psychological self defeating conundrum. As I've distanced myself from the chaos life has gotten easier to a certain degree, insofar as dealing with a substantially less amount of unnecessary drama, which has distracted me from my goals to the point of insanity in the past, but now I can get up and the only thing I have to worry about is homework deadlines.
Petrified of our inevitable move for graduate school, not that there is anything here worth staying for, it's just unsettling to have to start all over again somewhere else and relocating to another city, moving outside of a comfort zone. I've lived here for about 15 years, leaving to another province where we have never been is such a scary thought. The financial cost to do the move, the cost of living, and the change of weather. What if we absolutely hate it and we're committed to staying for three years? I am thankful that my oldest son has changed his mind and is now planning on moving with us instead of leaving to Vancouver, he has been such a big help over the last year, I'm not sure what I would do without him.
Just plugging along day-by-day hoping for the best.

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