Letting Go

Everything has been purposely transitional for the past 6 months. Hence the adage, "If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change you're attitude about it." In a major self evaluation I've made concerted efforts to settle my personal life in order to make way for my next 4 years as a full-time student. I'm weeding out all my stressors to make room for an exciting new future.

Many years ago when I was a youth, I'd take advantage of the opportunity to 'sew my wild oats' which thankfully wore thin quickly. As I matured and reality seeped in, I saw the World from an alternate perspective and I've been deeply disappointed ever since. My girlfriend used to tease me about being naive, which at the time was absurd, but now, with the rose colored glasses removed, the ugliness can be seen clearly and I'd officially become tainted, childhood innocence lost, forever.

I have a handful of true friends and even less of family members who are honest and ethical beings. People who do not go about their day on a quest to destroy others with negativity while turning a blind eye, or living in outright denial about their own failings. I have grown to acquire zero tolerance for ignorance, addicts and liars. Which has made me somewhat antisocial, while my spouse continues to happily jump into the mix of fakers and manipulators ... he can have it, I just don't wanna hear about it when they inevitably stab him in the back, or they turn on him when he needs a friend the most. My policy is; "When everyone and everything around you has crumbled to the ground, you must have the strength to gain your own balance, wilst standing on your own two feet and continue moving forward, unscathed."

This transitional period has left me bare bones, it's like my life has started from scratch after almost 10 years of being stuck in a rut. At first I was frightened, but now I'm optimistic and trust that it was meant to be, I'm ready for the next level and it will be awesome!

My handful of friends has began to dissipate lately and most of it is related to the way people have chosen to parent their children. My advice to all parents would have nothing to do with methods of discipline, or what words of wisdom to say, cause I don't know. The answer is simple, spend quality time with your children. I genuinely enjoy being around my kids and when we're together it gives them opportunity to bond with me. We live by the Golden Rule and it works both ways, I treat them with respect and expect that they treat me likewise. As an attribute to this method, my children love to spend their time at home because I'm here for them and we do regular activities together and their friends are more than welcomed to join us. My kids are "A" students, none of the kids have done drugs, nor have they drank alcohol, even though my two oldest are 14 and 16 they haven't started dating (their own choice) and they all have exceptional manners. Big pat on the back for me! :D

Sometimes I doubt myself when I see the majority of people able to function seemingly content with the fake people they've surrounded themselves with. But the reality is that I just don't have it in me to put on the performance; the gossip, back stabbing, refusing to tell the truth because it might tarnish yours or others reputation, worrying constantly about what everyone else thinks of you, pretending to be agreeable, etc.... it's exhausting! I'd rather just be me, and if I'm hated for it, so be it.