Ba Hum Bug!!!
I already detest this holiday and Christmas is still 5 days away! My DH in his brilliance had decided that we're going to spend the holidays with his family, without consulting me!! I'm not sure if I'm being completely unreasonable, maybe DH & our 4 kids will have a good time, but I feel like my holiday has been ruined...
We are not a wealthy family, we get by and live a comfortable lifestyle, but it's never been lavish. Every year we've spent Christmas pretty much on our own, accept when Grandma/pa Mackey were alive, we drove 45 minutes to their home for dinner, no big deal. Our money was available to spend on the kids and we get them one large item, which was usually an electronic ~ PSP, Nintendo DS, Wii, DVD Player, Video Camera, etc...
THIS YEAR, after saving $200 for the ferry cost to get back and forth to Vancouver (not to mention the cost of fuel in our vehicle) plus the fact we had to buy gift for two persons in the family, cause this is THEIR tradition (chose names from hat) that's another $200 out of the ole budget. Plus we can't forget about the alcohol, our contribution is TWO cases of beer, even though I don't really drink. Nor do I support the idea of people getting hammered around my four children!!
This is the one time of year that I look forward to dumping large sums of money on my kids, now I have $450+ missing from an already tight budget and we were not able to afford to buy the kids any electronics this year. Not the mention the fact that I can't afford to purchase a birthday gift for DH (Dec 24th) nor are either of us able to purchase gifts for each other for Christmas because we have no money left! I know when it comes to time for Heath to open his presents and he has NONE from his wife, I'm gonna feel even worse! Lets drag this wonder feeling out for another two God damn days, can't wait!!
Lets be realistic about these visits anyhow, everytime we've spent the money to take the trip for a few days of seeing the family, I'm babysitting the kids while everyone else is drinking their faces off and hungover the next day ~ big freaking deal, I'd rather stay home!! Next year I'm planning a trip ANYWHERE to avoid this bullshit, who needs it?!
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Lost in the Shuffle
I feel like my life is not my own most days, I live to serve the other 5 members of my family at a whim and get lost if the shuffle, nor does anyone seem to care to return the favor. This didn't seem to matter much for most of the last 5 years I've been a stay at home mother, I definitely felt the one sided nature of it all when I attempted to be a surrogate in 2007; now I feel it again as I attempt to gain an education, which requires ME time and joined a gym to lose weight, which requires ME time and it's a constant battle to acquire this time. I can't tell you how many times I've had to cancel a workout because of someone elses schedule interfering with mine.
I signed up for Biology 12 in June 2009, one of the courses I needed to complete as a pre-requisite to take the Registered Nursing Program @ Vancouver Island University; 6 months later I'm still stuck on the first 4 out of 15 units! I attended the class this AM to take the Unit 2 test after studying for weeks and failed miserably!! Would I do better in a fulltime classroom atmosphere? I don't know. The reality is that I've realised that I HATE school and couldn't take a 4 year course, therefore I've restructured my plans to complete this biology course and take the 1 year Licensed Practical Nurse program, which would start Sept/August 2010. This means I have 9-10 months to finish this damn Biology course that I have grown to detest!! My instructor has allowed me the opportunity to retake the Unit 2 test, we also discussed in detail methods that would assist in my efforts to retain more information.
After many conversations with my spouse, I find that we remain lower on his priority list that I'd like. Although I have no doubt that my priorities consist of #1 My Children; #2 My Spouse #3 Myself #4 My friends ... his are #1 Himself #2 His Friends #3 Work #4 Spouse #5 Children; I've stated to him on numerous occassions that we co-exist in a divided household, I am a single mother of four children while he is a roommate who makes appearances at the residence as he pleases. When the children have grown and moved out, I'm not sure we'll be able to stand being in the same room together for extended periods of time, we have very little in common and currently live somewhat seperately. The only thing we speak of in detail is work and even then it's different prospectives and constant conflict.
I guess the question is, what does one do from here? The only thing that I can foresee is scheduling in time for myself, cause nobody is gonna GIVE it to me, I have to make it happen. I know it's been suggested that I get childcare, then it gives me the days to myself while the rest of the kids are at school and Heath is at work. Not forgetting the fact that I'd be doing this if I was in the classroom fulltime anyhow. But, there is a barrier that I've created in this regard, I feel that my spouse should be able to support me in my endevours; which he's not, so realistically I should stop waiting for it and book the damn daycare, commit already!! Don't get me wrong the financial aspect does concern me immensely as well, it seems strange for me to buy time for myself while I sit at home and read; but alas this is just MY prospective and I've allowed these things to create barriers for my own progress.
I signed up for Biology 12 in June 2009, one of the courses I needed to complete as a pre-requisite to take the Registered Nursing Program @ Vancouver Island University; 6 months later I'm still stuck on the first 4 out of 15 units! I attended the class this AM to take the Unit 2 test after studying for weeks and failed miserably!! Would I do better in a fulltime classroom atmosphere? I don't know. The reality is that I've realised that I HATE school and couldn't take a 4 year course, therefore I've restructured my plans to complete this biology course and take the 1 year Licensed Practical Nurse program, which would start Sept/August 2010. This means I have 9-10 months to finish this damn Biology course that I have grown to detest!! My instructor has allowed me the opportunity to retake the Unit 2 test, we also discussed in detail methods that would assist in my efforts to retain more information.
After many conversations with my spouse, I find that we remain lower on his priority list that I'd like. Although I have no doubt that my priorities consist of #1 My Children; #2 My Spouse #3 Myself #4 My friends ... his are #1 Himself #2 His Friends #3 Work #4 Spouse #5 Children; I've stated to him on numerous occassions that we co-exist in a divided household, I am a single mother of four children while he is a roommate who makes appearances at the residence as he pleases. When the children have grown and moved out, I'm not sure we'll be able to stand being in the same room together for extended periods of time, we have very little in common and currently live somewhat seperately. The only thing we speak of in detail is work and even then it's different prospectives and constant conflict.
I guess the question is, what does one do from here? The only thing that I can foresee is scheduling in time for myself, cause nobody is gonna GIVE it to me, I have to make it happen. I know it's been suggested that I get childcare, then it gives me the days to myself while the rest of the kids are at school and Heath is at work. Not forgetting the fact that I'd be doing this if I was in the classroom fulltime anyhow. But, there is a barrier that I've created in this regard, I feel that my spouse should be able to support me in my endevours; which he's not, so realistically I should stop waiting for it and book the damn daycare, commit already!! Don't get me wrong the financial aspect does concern me immensely as well, it seems strange for me to buy time for myself while I sit at home and read; but alas this is just MY prospective and I've allowed these things to create barriers for my own progress.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Blah...
This has been a long week, I caught a cold which started as a sore throat and I figured within 3 days it would be over. However, it's dragged out and progressively gotten worse, day by day. It finally peaked yesterday and I'm on the road to recovery, although I've been told the cough stays with you for up to 3 weeks. Devon has been home for the past 5 days, he has a bad nonproductive cough.
Kiesha is done with Volleyball, she had a big tournament which went from Friday-Tuesday. By the end we had unhappy students and parents because the idiot coach was caught favoring a handful of his players whom would be permitted to play the majority of any given game, while the remainder of the team were benchwarmers. After conversing with a fellow disgruntled Mother, I'd relented and had a 40min conversation with the Coach, the arrogant ass tried to tell me lies and deny that he had favorites, but the truth eventually came out. I'm disappointed that I hadn't had an opportunity to get involved in this situation earlier in the volleyball season, but I'll be more aware for next year if this idiot is still coaching.
Devon is done football season. I had a long conversation with his Principal last year because of the lack of knowledge that was being provided for the parents in general and the ongoing issues I was having in trying to Coach the basketball teams for the past two years, due to lack of organization and procrastination. I was told this would be remedied, but there is no indication that things have improved in seeing the management of this football team, we as parents have been poorly advised of games. I'd tried to speak to the football Coach and the Teacher sponsor about getting an updated schedule, both of whom told me would be issued to Parents, but it was not. I didn't find out until Devon called me after school to ask if I could drive the team.... I told him he could relay to the Teacher & Coach that they could suck on an egg, because they should have arranged this in advance and advised parents about the game!
Kiesha initiated a conversation about picking a career, she seems pretty relaxed about the idea. We reviewed some job options, how long it would take to complete schooling, where the education was available, wage expectations and job availablity. I'd hoped she'd express interest in one thing, or the other... but nothing. Which is a concern because it's the not knowing or lack of interest in a direction that could leave her drifting for years in career aspirations. For myself I wish I had more knowledge at her age, because I would been done school and have a career. Dennis still wants to be a Airplane Pilot, I'm still trying to think about how to get him involved to see if it's truly the direction he wants to go, I'm not sure he's ever flown on a jet. Devon wants to be a Police Officer, he's still fairly young and I'm sure it will change.
Heath had made all sorts of goals in efforts to improve his relationship within the family. He wants to start hiking with the kids more often. He's started doing the dishes daily with Devon in order to assist him in learning how to have the dishes done appropriately and in a timely fashion, but also to spend some one-on-one time with him on a daily basis for bonding. He's commited to taking care of the kids in the evenings for two hours 2-3X week while I attend the gym, during which he'll take them to the swimming pool for one evening and their Spare Blox programs. I also gave him the book; "Parent Effectiveness Training" I've read it twice and it has always opened my eyes to the poor habits we've learned from our own caregivers, whether we've noticed it or not.
I finally completed my xmas shopping for Lori & Larry, I got Lori what I would refer to as retro native sweater and I'm making Larry a 2009 scrapbook of the 5 grandchildren. I worry about whether they will apprectiate the gifts, as I don't know them very well and have no idea what things they like, or don't like. I've had no problems accumulating gifts for my 3 boys, but Kiesha is very difficult to buy for now that she's no longer into childrens toys. I also have concerns about what everyone else has purchased for the kids and whether we're going to have an overlap in gifts, skating helmets, skate boards, Halo and Bionicle items. Communication in these matters have been difficult, I've made several attempts to ask about gift ideas for Lori/Larry which took at least 3X to get a feasible answer, just for Lori. This is going to be very different, I've been doing xmas with Don/Valerie for years, then we've been doing it on our own since they've passed, now to intergrate with a large family for the holidays feels chaotic!
Alas, we'll go with the flow and hope for the best....
Kiesha is done with Volleyball, she had a big tournament which went from Friday-Tuesday. By the end we had unhappy students and parents because the idiot coach was caught favoring a handful of his players whom would be permitted to play the majority of any given game, while the remainder of the team were benchwarmers. After conversing with a fellow disgruntled Mother, I'd relented and had a 40min conversation with the Coach, the arrogant ass tried to tell me lies and deny that he had favorites, but the truth eventually came out. I'm disappointed that I hadn't had an opportunity to get involved in this situation earlier in the volleyball season, but I'll be more aware for next year if this idiot is still coaching.
Devon is done football season. I had a long conversation with his Principal last year because of the lack of knowledge that was being provided for the parents in general and the ongoing issues I was having in trying to Coach the basketball teams for the past two years, due to lack of organization and procrastination. I was told this would be remedied, but there is no indication that things have improved in seeing the management of this football team, we as parents have been poorly advised of games. I'd tried to speak to the football Coach and the Teacher sponsor about getting an updated schedule, both of whom told me would be issued to Parents, but it was not. I didn't find out until Devon called me after school to ask if I could drive the team.... I told him he could relay to the Teacher & Coach that they could suck on an egg, because they should have arranged this in advance and advised parents about the game!
Kiesha initiated a conversation about picking a career, she seems pretty relaxed about the idea. We reviewed some job options, how long it would take to complete schooling, where the education was available, wage expectations and job availablity. I'd hoped she'd express interest in one thing, or the other... but nothing. Which is a concern because it's the not knowing or lack of interest in a direction that could leave her drifting for years in career aspirations. For myself I wish I had more knowledge at her age, because I would been done school and have a career. Dennis still wants to be a Airplane Pilot, I'm still trying to think about how to get him involved to see if it's truly the direction he wants to go, I'm not sure he's ever flown on a jet. Devon wants to be a Police Officer, he's still fairly young and I'm sure it will change.
Heath had made all sorts of goals in efforts to improve his relationship within the family. He wants to start hiking with the kids more often. He's started doing the dishes daily with Devon in order to assist him in learning how to have the dishes done appropriately and in a timely fashion, but also to spend some one-on-one time with him on a daily basis for bonding. He's commited to taking care of the kids in the evenings for two hours 2-3X week while I attend the gym, during which he'll take them to the swimming pool for one evening and their Spare Blox programs. I also gave him the book; "Parent Effectiveness Training" I've read it twice and it has always opened my eyes to the poor habits we've learned from our own caregivers, whether we've noticed it or not.
I finally completed my xmas shopping for Lori & Larry, I got Lori what I would refer to as retro native sweater and I'm making Larry a 2009 scrapbook of the 5 grandchildren. I worry about whether they will apprectiate the gifts, as I don't know them very well and have no idea what things they like, or don't like. I've had no problems accumulating gifts for my 3 boys, but Kiesha is very difficult to buy for now that she's no longer into childrens toys. I also have concerns about what everyone else has purchased for the kids and whether we're going to have an overlap in gifts, skating helmets, skate boards, Halo and Bionicle items. Communication in these matters have been difficult, I've made several attempts to ask about gift ideas for Lori/Larry which took at least 3X to get a feasible answer, just for Lori. This is going to be very different, I've been doing xmas with Don/Valerie for years, then we've been doing it on our own since they've passed, now to intergrate with a large family for the holidays feels chaotic!
Alas, we'll go with the flow and hope for the best....
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Bitch 101
Is It Just Me?
October 23rd 2009; Stepsons 15th birthday party 1:30pm we attend skating and getting into the Arena is maniac, there is TONS of ppl and the line is insane! Didn't have a good time, but the kids enjoyed skating. The Arena was freezing cold and I was standing around turning into a popscicle! Parks & Rec have programs; gym & swim or skate & swim, where you aren't required to pay double when you use the facilities back to back; staff is uneducated about this process and ice rink admin is unable to reach to Supervisor to confirm, she ends up giving me the reciepts needed and send me on my way.
2:30pm Setup party room for lunch.
4:30pm transition to swimming; hand over the receipts to the receptionist and she refuses to allow entrance into the swimming pool unless we pay admission again, because in her view the break we took for lunch voided our free admission from skating to swimming! Not impressed and voice my opinion to the receptionist in a loud tone, making great effort to prevent using foul language. The receptionist gets defensive and eventually makes repeated attempts to kick me out of the facility!! I demand an audience with the Supervisor and when he appears I state it's in his best interest to bring me to a private room as I intend to be loud. I voice my concerns and he agrees it was poorly handled, I was right and his poorly educated staff need to be advised better about the manner in which the facilites services function, such as the skate and swim discount. He offers to reimburse the additional costs for the extra admission fees and we enjoy the remainder of my stepsons party without incidence.
Today I attend the HSBC Bank to deposit my rent money for the Landlord, unfortunately I no longer have the account number, but have had no issues in doing a search on the account and successfully making a deposit; until today! The Teller insists that I can't search and deposit on the account, even left to speak with her Supervisor to confirm. The Teller said she'd contact the account holder to confirm I could make the deposit, but the next time I'd need the account number. I explain to the Teller that the main account holder is now deceased, therefore the only working contact information on the account would be the joint account holders phone number which would be a Michigan number beginning with 615... Teller is getting noticably upset, opens the account, writes down a number and attempts to call, obviously there was no answer. I see the number she wrote down is local and the Teller is now attempting to make my deposit, I asked her why she is NOW going to make my deposit even though she didn't get confirmation from the account holder?? I AGAIN mentioned that the number she wrote down will not work because that account holder is deceased. The Teller becomes even more upset, she's turning red and still ignoring me... So, what is the HSBC Bank policy? She said one thing and did another!!!
October 23rd 2009; Stepsons 15th birthday party 1:30pm we attend skating and getting into the Arena is maniac, there is TONS of ppl and the line is insane! Didn't have a good time, but the kids enjoyed skating. The Arena was freezing cold and I was standing around turning into a popscicle! Parks & Rec have programs; gym & swim or skate & swim, where you aren't required to pay double when you use the facilities back to back; staff is uneducated about this process and ice rink admin is unable to reach to Supervisor to confirm, she ends up giving me the reciepts needed and send me on my way.
2:30pm Setup party room for lunch.
4:30pm transition to swimming; hand over the receipts to the receptionist and she refuses to allow entrance into the swimming pool unless we pay admission again, because in her view the break we took for lunch voided our free admission from skating to swimming! Not impressed and voice my opinion to the receptionist in a loud tone, making great effort to prevent using foul language. The receptionist gets defensive and eventually makes repeated attempts to kick me out of the facility!! I demand an audience with the Supervisor and when he appears I state it's in his best interest to bring me to a private room as I intend to be loud. I voice my concerns and he agrees it was poorly handled, I was right and his poorly educated staff need to be advised better about the manner in which the facilites services function, such as the skate and swim discount. He offers to reimburse the additional costs for the extra admission fees and we enjoy the remainder of my stepsons party without incidence.
Today I attend the HSBC Bank to deposit my rent money for the Landlord, unfortunately I no longer have the account number, but have had no issues in doing a search on the account and successfully making a deposit; until today! The Teller insists that I can't search and deposit on the account, even left to speak with her Supervisor to confirm. The Teller said she'd contact the account holder to confirm I could make the deposit, but the next time I'd need the account number. I explain to the Teller that the main account holder is now deceased, therefore the only working contact information on the account would be the joint account holders phone number which would be a Michigan number beginning with 615... Teller is getting noticably upset, opens the account, writes down a number and attempts to call, obviously there was no answer. I see the number she wrote down is local and the Teller is now attempting to make my deposit, I asked her why she is NOW going to make my deposit even though she didn't get confirmation from the account holder?? I AGAIN mentioned that the number she wrote down will not work because that account holder is deceased. The Teller becomes even more upset, she's turning red and still ignoring me... So, what is the HSBC Bank policy? She said one thing and did another!!!
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Feels Like Monday
The last few weeks have been boring as hell; this AM changed everything. I woke up early and renewed the insurance on the work truck, it's also child tax day; money and transportation issues resolved.
Heath was dashing around trying to find labourers for a concrete pour and was attempting to reschedule for tomorrow; I dont' think so! We are already 3 days behind on this project and possibly lost the job to follow because Marilyn is on a tight schedule. I found one carpenters online and Heath picked up Kevin Johnson, the concrete was booked for 3:30pm and the crew was finally finished at the site by 8:30pm! I was not impressed because Mayco suggested they order a pump truck and estimated it would take 1 hour... well, it took 3 hours @ $120/hr which means we are now another $360+ over budget, the client will NOT be impressed!! I don't even wanna talk about how much money we've gone over with the wages; it's not pretty and it's not like I haven't made Heath aware of the situation, he just doesn't seem to care.
Almost have all the planning done for Dennis' party, paid for the room rental and handed out the invitations for Friday. Just need to plan food, order the DQ cake and buy a cellphone.
Received a check in the mail from FMEP, child support payment from Wanda; pleasantly surprised that she's actually paid. I thought for sure she'd choose to spend the two days in jail just to be spiteful. Hopefully she stays consistant and we can start saving money. Still waiting to see if she's gonna bother sending Dennis anything for his birthday, or not.
In watching the News last night I was taken back by the idea that Vancouver has proposed that they build safe Crack Inhalation Sites; seriously?! These drug addicts get free shelter, free food and now they get their own Crack Shacks!! Just how far are people gonna go in a self defeating manner of enabling addicts? There is no "rock bottom" because at this rate their lives will never become 'unmanagable'... they make poor choices and others coddle them and don't hold them accountable... so, they have no reason to change!!
Heath was dashing around trying to find labourers for a concrete pour and was attempting to reschedule for tomorrow; I dont' think so! We are already 3 days behind on this project and possibly lost the job to follow because Marilyn is on a tight schedule. I found one carpenters online and Heath picked up Kevin Johnson, the concrete was booked for 3:30pm and the crew was finally finished at the site by 8:30pm! I was not impressed because Mayco suggested they order a pump truck and estimated it would take 1 hour... well, it took 3 hours @ $120/hr which means we are now another $360+ over budget, the client will NOT be impressed!! I don't even wanna talk about how much money we've gone over with the wages; it's not pretty and it's not like I haven't made Heath aware of the situation, he just doesn't seem to care.
Almost have all the planning done for Dennis' party, paid for the room rental and handed out the invitations for Friday. Just need to plan food, order the DQ cake and buy a cellphone.
Received a check in the mail from FMEP, child support payment from Wanda; pleasantly surprised that she's actually paid. I thought for sure she'd choose to spend the two days in jail just to be spiteful. Hopefully she stays consistant and we can start saving money. Still waiting to see if she's gonna bother sending Dennis anything for his birthday, or not.
In watching the News last night I was taken back by the idea that Vancouver has proposed that they build safe Crack Inhalation Sites; seriously?! These drug addicts get free shelter, free food and now they get their own Crack Shacks!! Just how far are people gonna go in a self defeating manner of enabling addicts? There is no "rock bottom" because at this rate their lives will never become 'unmanagable'... they make poor choices and others coddle them and don't hold them accountable... so, they have no reason to change!!
Monday, October 19, 2009
Wow, First Blog!!
This week has been alot of conversation, seems I'm the only one who likes to talk in my household! I'm the type of person who likes to let people know what I'm thinking, I like people to know what my expectations are and what is going on in my head... I'd LOVE it if more people would do the same for me.
Heath has been working for the past two weeks on a complicated foundation project, it's taken longer than expected because the terrain and the new tenant has been uncooperative. They've had to rely on a small generator for electricity and it severely crippled their capability to use power tools or the compressor... we're 3 days behind and the clients only have $9,000 in their budget for his foundation. I have no idea how they plan on getting the remainder of the home up to code and livable, especially since it's been leaking into the house and everything will be ruined if they don't seal the house immediately! We're planning on have concrete poured Tuesday and construction complete on Wednesday, THEN Heath has to go back once the house is dropped, in order to sister the floor joists and possibly install fiberglass insulation.
I've been working hard all week to plan a birthday party for Dennis, my initial plan was to rent a Sumo Suit $200 for 4 hours, they'd have a BLAST! It proved to be more complicated that I'd hoped, due to lack of facilities to rent for the space we'd require. Seeing that I've run out of time and finances are questionable, I'd decided to keep it simple and we've planned a skate/swim party. Now I still have to see if I can rent a room for dinner... fingers crossed!
Heath has been working for the past two weeks on a complicated foundation project, it's taken longer than expected because the terrain and the new tenant has been uncooperative. They've had to rely on a small generator for electricity and it severely crippled their capability to use power tools or the compressor... we're 3 days behind and the clients only have $9,000 in their budget for his foundation. I have no idea how they plan on getting the remainder of the home up to code and livable, especially since it's been leaking into the house and everything will be ruined if they don't seal the house immediately! We're planning on have concrete poured Tuesday and construction complete on Wednesday, THEN Heath has to go back once the house is dropped, in order to sister the floor joists and possibly install fiberglass insulation.
I've been working hard all week to plan a birthday party for Dennis, my initial plan was to rent a Sumo Suit $200 for 4 hours, they'd have a BLAST! It proved to be more complicated that I'd hoped, due to lack of facilities to rent for the space we'd require. Seeing that I've run out of time and finances are questionable, I'd decided to keep it simple and we've planned a skate/swim party. Now I still have to see if I can rent a room for dinner... fingers crossed!
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